The HOLY WRIT and the WRITER'S ART

For the past few months, I have been tutored by a dead man. That is to say, I have discovered the joy, the pain, the humor, and the pathos that is James Kilpatrick's "The Writer's Art".

I don't know why it surprised me that a book about writing, written by a writer, could be so doggone INTERESTING. I expected to find a dry manual, quibbling fretfully over endless technicalities. Anyone who is familiar with James Kilpatrick is already laughing at me. Contrary to my naive assumption, Mr. Kilpatrick is one of the most purely entertaining people I have ever encountered. I firmly believe that if he wrote an instruction manual for the assembly of a desk chair, it would would be nothing short of riveting.

I immediately formed a bond with Mr. Kilpatrick when I read this section, taken from Chapter 1:

"Consider, if you please, an altogether admirable sentence: FOR BEST RESULTS, SQUEEZE TUBE FROM THE BOTTOM AND FLATTEN IT AS YOU GO UP. That comes off the side of a tube of Crest toothpaste. It is an eminently sound, serviceable, workaday sentence. It could not be improved by shifting "for best results" to some other point. I find it a sentence without a flaw."

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. What could be more humble than the unpretentious toothpaste tube? And yet, Kilpatrick chooses to elevate it to the best seat. I think (although I can't be sure) that this was the moment that I subconsciously chose to reverence James Kilpatrick. I hope this is not idolatry.

The Bible and the Writer's Art(in that order)are the two most important books in my life right now. They both hold a post on my nightstand and I usually fall asleep to the sight of one or the other. There are some surprising similarities between them, actually. Although I can't say whether every word of the Writer's Art is God-breathed, I do certainly know that it useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in write-ousness. I found myself in penitent tears after the section on writing dialect phonetically and swore never, never to try it again. I purified myself of pompous, too-large words that don't have any business in my sentences except a misguided attempt to impress. I spurned a good many "rules" of writing that are just silly, and now welcome a preposition at the end of my sentence with open arms.

I have emerged from the Writer's Art a humbler writer, perhaps even a better person. God bless you, Mr. Kilpatrick.