Inside the studio, pandemonium had ensued.
Sam ran towards Adrien with a look of desperation.
"Now what, Adrien?! That air-headed twit has gone and done it! She poked herself in the eye with her mascara brush and now she's being rushed to the emergency room. We haven't got a Julia! She'll be wearing an eye-patch for weeks! If I ever get my hands on Ted in casting, I swear I'll ..."
Sam made various violent gestures that boded ill for Ted in casting.
Sam stopped short when he saw Ramona.
"Well hello there." he said. "Friend of Adrien's?"
"It appears that way." said Ramona.
"Friend of mine, then, if I may make so bold."
"I'm growing used to boldness today."
"Sam, this is Ramona." said Adrien.
"It's a real pleasure." said Sam. "But Adrien, what are we going to do? We've got exactly 6 weeks to shoot this picture, and we haven't got a leading lady. Granted, Maureen was a tarty little trollup without a lick of acting experience, but still! She was better than nobody!"
"I've got the girl for you Sam. She's standing right here. She makes Katherine Hepburn look like a dime-store hussy. She's got a soul, Sam. And she's got moxy."
Sam stroked his chin reflectively.
"Huh ... can you tap dance, missy?"
"Of course."
"Then you're hired. Pam! Get this lady in a costume, pronto!"
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 6
"I have a poster of him in my room." thought Ramona. "No .... I have 7 posters of him in my room. What a coincidence."
"A girl like you doesn't have to pay for her own ice cream." said Adrien Grody. He turned to the ice cream man. "Make it two."
The crowds were now in a state of hysteria and were snapping pictures.
"It's Ramona of the Red Shoes and Adrien Grody!" they tittered. "Get an autograph! Get a picture! Get something!"
"Let's get out of here." said Adrien. "Paparazzi give me the fidgets."
"Me too." said Ramona. "The flashes drive me absolutely bonkers. Thanks for the ice cream, by the way."
"Don't mention it." said Adrien. "From the moment I saw you I knew you were the kind of girl I wanted to buy ice cream for for the rest of my life. Damn! That ice cream man didn't put nearly enough sprinkles on yours."
"You're very bold, aren't you?"
"I'd have to be, wouldn't I, to get the attention of a girl like you? I'm sorry, I'm smoking, aren't I? Do you mind?"
"I revile it."
Adrien flung the cigarette stub down and extinguished it with his shoe.
"Step into my office." he said with a flourish, as he opened the studio door.
"A girl like you doesn't have to pay for her own ice cream." said Adrien Grody. He turned to the ice cream man. "Make it two."
The crowds were now in a state of hysteria and were snapping pictures.
"It's Ramona of the Red Shoes and Adrien Grody!" they tittered. "Get an autograph! Get a picture! Get something!"
"Let's get out of here." said Adrien. "Paparazzi give me the fidgets."
"Me too." said Ramona. "The flashes drive me absolutely bonkers. Thanks for the ice cream, by the way."
"Don't mention it." said Adrien. "From the moment I saw you I knew you were the kind of girl I wanted to buy ice cream for for the rest of my life. Damn! That ice cream man didn't put nearly enough sprinkles on yours."
"You're very bold, aren't you?"
"I'd have to be, wouldn't I, to get the attention of a girl like you? I'm sorry, I'm smoking, aren't I? Do you mind?"
"I revile it."
Adrien flung the cigarette stub down and extinguished it with his shoe.
"Step into my office." he said with a flourish, as he opened the studio door.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 5
Note: Please be advised that at this point, the story gets kind of gushy. I can't help that, it's just how things went.
The first thing that Ramona did when she left the department store was to head for the nearest ice cream stand.
"On a day like this -" said Ramona, with deep conviction, "The only food one needs is ice cream."
There was a line about a block long for the ice cream stand, but at the appearance of Ramona with her Red Shoes, the customers, awe-struck, stood back.
"Who is this Amazonian beauty who visits mine humble ice cream stand?" said the little ice cream man.
"I am Ramona of the Red Shoes!" said Ramona. "The click of my heels is as the thunder of the gods!"
The crowd murmured with admiration.
"She must be from The Movies ..." they said.
"What will you have, Oh Red-Shoe'd Ramona?" asked the ice cream man, his scoop poised expertly over the buckets.
"A triple-decker! Moose-tracks on the bottom! Strawberry in the middle! And hot tin roof on the top!"
The ice-cream man set to scooping with great vigor.
Ramona reached for her purse to pay.
"Allow me." said a voice behind her.
Ramona turned and found herself looking up at an incredibly tall and famous man. Parenthetically, he was also severely attractive, with kind and slightly tortured brown eyes, and a drooping, extensive nose. One hand was in his pocket, and one hand held a smoldering cigarette stub.
It was Adrien Grody.
The first thing that Ramona did when she left the department store was to head for the nearest ice cream stand.
"On a day like this -" said Ramona, with deep conviction, "The only food one needs is ice cream."
There was a line about a block long for the ice cream stand, but at the appearance of Ramona with her Red Shoes, the customers, awe-struck, stood back.
"Who is this Amazonian beauty who visits mine humble ice cream stand?" said the little ice cream man.
"I am Ramona of the Red Shoes!" said Ramona. "The click of my heels is as the thunder of the gods!"
The crowd murmured with admiration.
"She must be from The Movies ..." they said.
"What will you have, Oh Red-Shoe'd Ramona?" asked the ice cream man, his scoop poised expertly over the buckets.
"A triple-decker! Moose-tracks on the bottom! Strawberry in the middle! And hot tin roof on the top!"
The ice-cream man set to scooping with great vigor.
Ramona reached for her purse to pay.
"Allow me." said a voice behind her.
Ramona turned and found herself looking up at an incredibly tall and famous man. Parenthetically, he was also severely attractive, with kind and slightly tortured brown eyes, and a drooping, extensive nose. One hand was in his pocket, and one hand held a smoldering cigarette stub.
It was Adrien Grody.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 4
"I don't know how you do it, Grody." said the director to "Hank".
"Do what, Sam?"
"Look these little hussies in the eye and pretend to take them seriously. Look at 'er! Off to the make-up dresser again. If I wanted a painted mannequin, I would have hired a department store dummy and an Avon lady."
"Aw, giver a break. It's her first big thing. You don't exactly learn to be Katherine Hepburn doing SoftSpread commercials."
Adrien Grody (for it was in fact, the dashing actor himself), removed his stage hat and lit a cigarette.
"I guess so." said Sam. "Say, is it true about you and Tammy Hunt? I saw it all over the tabloids last week. You two together?"
"Nah." said Adrien. "You oughtta know better than to read those things."
"Yeah yeah. I just kinda hoped ... you're a nice guy, Grody. You should get a girl. Might do you good. Nancy did me good."
"Thanks Sam. But I'm waiting for a girl with a soul, that's all."
"Ain't that the truth. Hey, when you find her, give me a holler, ok? I could use her for this picture. Maureen's giving me ulcers."
"Sure, Boss."
"And get that thing out of the studio! You know what the rules are with the fancy new get-ups."
"What, this?" Adrien held up the cigarette innocently. "All right all right, I'll go outside. Be back in 10."
"Do what, Sam?"
"Look these little hussies in the eye and pretend to take them seriously. Look at 'er! Off to the make-up dresser again. If I wanted a painted mannequin, I would have hired a department store dummy and an Avon lady."
"Aw, giver a break. It's her first big thing. You don't exactly learn to be Katherine Hepburn doing SoftSpread commercials."
Adrien Grody (for it was in fact, the dashing actor himself), removed his stage hat and lit a cigarette.
"I guess so." said Sam. "Say, is it true about you and Tammy Hunt? I saw it all over the tabloids last week. You two together?"
"Nah." said Adrien. "You oughtta know better than to read those things."
"Yeah yeah. I just kinda hoped ... you're a nice guy, Grody. You should get a girl. Might do you good. Nancy did me good."
"Thanks Sam. But I'm waiting for a girl with a soul, that's all."
"Ain't that the truth. Hey, when you find her, give me a holler, ok? I could use her for this picture. Maureen's giving me ulcers."
"Sure, Boss."
"And get that thing out of the studio! You know what the rules are with the fancy new get-ups."
"What, this?" Adrien held up the cigarette innocently. "All right all right, I'll go outside. Be back in 10."
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 3
...............................
Not far away in the busy metropolis, in a swanky film studio warehouse, a tragic scene was unfolding.
"No Julia," said the tall, handsome, brooding man, his fascinating eyebrows quivering sadly. "I don't love you. I never have."
"Oh Hank!" said Julia. "How can you say such things!"
"I thought I loved you. But that was before I realized that you were an undercover agent tracking me for government secrets. I can't be with someone who bugs my hotel room, darling."
"But why not!" sobbed Julia into her handkerchief.
"CUT for cryin' out loud!" said the director. "You're makin' ME cry."
"Really?" said Julia, who really wasn't Julia at all, but an up-and-coming young starlet named Maureen.
"Yeah," said the director. "I'm crying when I think how much this contract cost. Where'd you say you went to acting school again?"
"Why, I -"
"Never mind, sweetheart, it doesn't matter. Take a break. I know I need one."
"I don't know how you do it, Grody." said the director to "Hank".
"Do what, Sam?"
"Look these little hussies in the eye and pretend to take them seriously. Look at 'er! Off to the make-up dresser again. If I wanted a painted mannequin, I would have hired a department store dummy and an Avon lady."
"Aw, giver a break. It's her first big thing. You don't exactly learn to be Katherine Hepburn doing SoftSpread commercials."
Not far away in the busy metropolis, in a swanky film studio warehouse, a tragic scene was unfolding.
"No Julia," said the tall, handsome, brooding man, his fascinating eyebrows quivering sadly. "I don't love you. I never have."
"Oh Hank!" said Julia. "How can you say such things!"
"I thought I loved you. But that was before I realized that you were an undercover agent tracking me for government secrets. I can't be with someone who bugs my hotel room, darling."
"But why not!" sobbed Julia into her handkerchief.
"CUT for cryin' out loud!" said the director. "You're makin' ME cry."
"Really?" said Julia, who really wasn't Julia at all, but an up-and-coming young starlet named Maureen.
"Yeah," said the director. "I'm crying when I think how much this contract cost. Where'd you say you went to acting school again?"
"Why, I -"
"Never mind, sweetheart, it doesn't matter. Take a break. I know I need one."
"I don't know how you do it, Grody." said the director to "Hank".
"Do what, Sam?"
"Look these little hussies in the eye and pretend to take them seriously. Look at 'er! Off to the make-up dresser again. If I wanted a painted mannequin, I would have hired a department store dummy and an Avon lady."
"Aw, giver a break. It's her first big thing. You don't exactly learn to be Katherine Hepburn doing SoftSpread commercials."
Friday, July 16, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 2
The Magic Man lifted his hands and shook his long beard to try to curb her enthusiasm.
"Not so fast, my little snap-crackle-and-pop." he said. "These shoes will give you self-confidence, yes. They will give you confidence to do things you've never done before. But they will only work for the next 12 hours. At the end of that time, the heels will shrink and they will become boring, little, un-chic, un-fabulous flats. So you must make sure that at the end of the 12 hours, you are ready to sprout your own wings of self-confidence."
"Can do!" said Ramona, strutting around in front of the department-store mirror.
The Magic Man shook his head forlornly.
"Oy vey. This will never work."
Ramona tripped away on clouds of velvet red.
"No elevators for me today!" she said, and quick as a wink, she hiked up her pin-stripe skirt, hopped onto the banister of the escalator, and slid down all 11 floors.
"What a strikingly confident young woman!" said the pretzel vendor.
"What a self-possessed female!" cried the Rolex watch-seller.
"What a riveting pair of red shoes!" shrieked the saleslady at Saks.
"Not so fast, my little snap-crackle-and-pop." he said. "These shoes will give you self-confidence, yes. They will give you confidence to do things you've never done before. But they will only work for the next 12 hours. At the end of that time, the heels will shrink and they will become boring, little, un-chic, un-fabulous flats. So you must make sure that at the end of the 12 hours, you are ready to sprout your own wings of self-confidence."
"Can do!" said Ramona, strutting around in front of the department-store mirror.
The Magic Man shook his head forlornly.
"Oy vey. This will never work."
Ramona tripped away on clouds of velvet red.
"No elevators for me today!" she said, and quick as a wink, she hiked up her pin-stripe skirt, hopped onto the banister of the escalator, and slid down all 11 floors.
"What a strikingly confident young woman!" said the pretzel vendor.
"What a self-possessed female!" cried the Rolex watch-seller.
"What a riveting pair of red shoes!" shrieked the saleslady at Saks.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Ramona and the Red Shoes - 1
Note: This story was inspired by a rather remarkable pair of bright red, 5-inch heels that I bought for my brother's wedding, in which I was a bridesmaid. They are the sort of shoes that I would never buy for myself, except that they exactly matched my dress and were 75% off. The latter was enough to at least get me to give them a chance. Anyways, once I did buy them, I found them to be a deeply inspiring springboard for the following tale, which I hope you will find at least moderately riveting/entertaining.
RAMONA and the RED SHOES
Once very long ago there was a girl who was short of stature and had but lacking self-assurance. She was neither particularly hideous-looking nor wholly without wits, but she was convinced that she was really quite a woofer and weak in the head. Her friends all told her she was fine, she just needed a Boost of Confidence.
So she went to the Magic Man and asked him what she should do. The Magic Man lived on the very highest floor of the very tallest department store in the whole city. He was very wise, and some said he even had the ability to wear any size shoe with a flawless fit, no matter how large or small.
"Mr. Magic Man," said Ramona (her name was, in fact, Ramona) "I haven't got a lick of self-confidence. Not one lick. What I must I do?"
The Magic Man pulled out a box. Inside the box was a pair of Red Shoes. Ramona was dazzled. They were very Red. Fire-engine red. Geranium red. Licorice-whip red. Christmas-paper red! Not only that, but they had glorious, sky-scraper-high heels, the kind where you can see France without even standing on tip-toes.
"There," said the Magic Man gravely. "Poke your tootsies in those babies."
Ramona put the Red Shoes on and immediately felt a jolt of electricity travel from her toes all through her arteries and blood cells.
"It's a miracle!" said Ramona. "I don't feel dull. I don't feel drab. I don't feel dim! I'm over the moon, Mr. Magic Man! This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"
RAMONA and the RED SHOES
Once very long ago there was a girl who was short of stature and had but lacking self-assurance. She was neither particularly hideous-looking nor wholly without wits, but she was convinced that she was really quite a woofer and weak in the head. Her friends all told her she was fine, she just needed a Boost of Confidence.
So she went to the Magic Man and asked him what she should do. The Magic Man lived on the very highest floor of the very tallest department store in the whole city. He was very wise, and some said he even had the ability to wear any size shoe with a flawless fit, no matter how large or small.
"Mr. Magic Man," said Ramona (her name was, in fact, Ramona) "I haven't got a lick of self-confidence. Not one lick. What I must I do?"
The Magic Man pulled out a box. Inside the box was a pair of Red Shoes. Ramona was dazzled. They were very Red. Fire-engine red. Geranium red. Licorice-whip red. Christmas-paper red! Not only that, but they had glorious, sky-scraper-high heels, the kind where you can see France without even standing on tip-toes.
"There," said the Magic Man gravely. "Poke your tootsies in those babies."
Ramona put the Red Shoes on and immediately felt a jolt of electricity travel from her toes all through her arteries and blood cells.
"It's a miracle!" said Ramona. "I don't feel dull. I don't feel drab. I don't feel dim! I'm over the moon, Mr. Magic Man! This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"
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